Dear Neighbor: What your Trump/Pence sign means to me

This morning, I looked out the window and saw that our neighbors two doors down had put up a Trump/Pence sign. My heart sank, I was a bit surprised, then I cried. Why?

We don’t know these neighbors very well, the interactions we’ve had with them have been a bit…odd, but nice enough. The woman is an artist, a retired teacher, a dog lover — most of our brief conversations were focused on us walking our dog and her condolences over the loss of our other dog.

Last year, she dropped off a Christmas gift for our toddler with a drawing she’d done and a note about how we had a lovely family. I wrote a note thanking them for their kindness and for welcoming us to the neighborhood. I always wondered what made her focus on our family in particular, our kids and now, with the planting of that Trump/Pence sign, I get it.

We’re her token family of color.

I am a basic white lady. My husband is a brown person. My kids are little brown people. If she fawns over the kids and goes out of her way to make idle chit chat and give us a gift, she couldn’t POSSIBLY be racist, right?!?

In the ’90s, I was watching the news with my grandma and they were covering the story of OJ Simpson murdering his wife. My grandma said something about feeling sorry for his kids. My cousin and I agreed, how awful it must be to not only lose your mother, but to have it be your father who killed her. My grandma said, “Yes, of course, but those kids have a black father and a white mother. What will they do now?” THAT was one of the worst things my grandma could imagine. My cousin and I were, of course, very vocally appalled, but that story came back to me again today when I saw that Trump/Pence sign staring at me through the window.

We’re the only brown family in our neighborhood. She’s praying for the poor, cute little brown kids whose mother and father are different colors. She’s overcompensating because there’s a lot of racist stuff in her life she supports, but she couldn’t possibly be a racist, right?!?

I’ve only had one interaction with her husband and it was early this week. The toddler and I were on a leaf hunt. The toddler, usually pretty good about staying to the side of the road, drifted a bit, distracted by leaves. He was leaving their home, drove theatrically out of his way (almost up on the opposite curb) to give us space, rolled down his window and said, “Just want to make sure no one gets hit!” In the moment, it felt … odd, at the very least, and definitely unnecessary. Today, it feels a little threatening.

“Not all Trump supporters are racist!” People are surely screaming. “They are just being nice and considerate, you’re impugning their motives,” others will say.

Perhaps they are just a little odd and were trying to be nice. But they certainly are racist. They certainly are okay with sexual assault. They certainly are okay with negligence and mass death and white supremacists and being conned and conning others for personal gain and lying and mocking the disabled. They’re okay with all those things because Donald Trump is okay with all those things and they want him to keep his job.

The monster is knocking at the door. The monster is telling you he is a monster.

He is telling you the lives of Black and brown people don’t matter to him. He is telling you he grabs women’s genitals against their will. He is telling you he doesn’t believe in a rampant virus that has killed hundreds of thousands of your fellow citizens — your neighbors, your community members, your loved ones. A virus he has now tested positive for, but hey…everyone for themselves, right?! He is telling you the disabled are worth less than he is. He is telling you he’s given the green light to white supremacists to stoke violence and murder people who challenge them. He is telling you he has conned people for decades and that it’s okay because conning people has made him rich. He lies and tells you he lies then lies some more. The monster is telling you he is a monster. With that one sign in your yard — that Trump/Pence sign — you are telling my family that you know he’s a monster and you don’t care, you want to let him back in the door.

Fuck you.

This isn’t politics, this is a personal statement that the lives of my brown family do not matter to you. The lives of my loved ones at high risk for damage from COVID-19 do not matter to you. The lives and experiences of every woman I know (including me) who has experienced harassment and assault and rape do not matter to you.

This is not just a message for the neighbors with the Trump/Pence sign in their yard. It’s a message for my family members, friends and anyone I know who voted for Trump in 2016.

If you’re still standing firm with the monster at the front door, you don’t get to be part of our lives anymore. We are anti-monster. We are pro-people who genuinely care about our lives and health and future and the lives and health and futures of others.

Our “Grab him by the ballot” sign goes up in the yard today.